The Truth About Emotions
The Truth About Emotions
Psalm 139:14
14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Humans are a unique and precious part of creation because we are the only part of creation that was made in the image of God. God was intentional and specific about every detail of our making. And because of this He is intimately acquainted with our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
Hebrews 4:14-15
14 Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. 15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.
We typically reference this verse when counseling someone concerning a disease or a terminal diagnosis, offering hope to someone that Jesus understands. But I want to submit that the word “infirmities” goes much further than just speaking to sickness or disease. The Greek word is ἀσθένεια (as-then'-i-ah) and it means feebleness (of mind or body); by implication, malady; morally, frailty, specifically a disease, an infirmity, a sickness, or a weakness. So, we can take comfort in knowing that Jesus not only understands our physically struggles, He also understands our emotional and mental struggles as well.
With that knowledge we can turn to God for help navigating our complex and powerful emotions. Boldly approaching God with confidence knowing that He cares about every detail of our life, including our feelings.
Our Refuge
Hebrews 4:16
16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
Many new converts are surprised when they learn that even Christian’s experience emotions like sadness, frustration, or anger. Some people incorrectly assume that once Jesus enters our heart, from that point on we will only experience happy, joyful, peaceful thoughts. Going further they believe that when they begin to feel emotions like anxiety, sadness, or frustration they have done something wrong and God has left them. But what we all need to admit and realize is that the emotions of frustration, sadness, and even anger are human emotions that God has given each of us. And the truth is God is not surprised or put off by these powerful, complex emotions.
From cover to cover, the Bible reveals to us a God who also experiences emotions. He feels love, joy, anger, and grief, just to name a few. You will also see as you read your Bible that key characters also exhibit these same emotions. So, just a reminder, you are not alone.
However, the good news is you do not have to struggle and carry your emotions alone. Since God understands, God is able to provide hope and help in our time of need. We just have to trust Him and carry our burdens to the Cross.
1 Peter 5:6-7
6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 7 casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Psalm 46:1
1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
When we turn to God in our time of need, He is willing to give us mercy (loving kindness) and grace (favor and encouragement) to help. Think of it this way, as a parent, you don’t expect your child to figure out everything on his own. Our Heavenly Father is the same way when it comes to us.
The Purpose of Emotions
At some point, everyone will face emotions. We will face hurt, rejection, sadness, anxiety, frustration, and betrayal. But the emotion itself isn’t the problem. It’s the reason for the emotion that is the issue. Think of it this way, our emotions are like the check engine light on your car. The light isn’t the problem. It’s just an indicator to let you know a problem exists.
We tend to think of our emotional pain as the problem, when in fact our emotions are just the symptom of the problem. It’s like physical pain. Have you stopped to consider that physical pain is a gift from God? Pain tells us that something is wrong and prompts us to pay attention and seek help. Ever touch a hot stove? You should thank God for that gift of pain, because it kept you safe (or safer). We feel physical pain for a reason, and it is the same way with emotional pain.
Our Response to Powerful Emotions
Our painful emotions will not go away by simply ignoring them. In fact, the opposite occurs. What is not addressed will only get worse.
Genesis 37:3-4; 8; 18-19
3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours. 4 And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.
8 And his brethren said to him, Shalt thou indeed reign over us? or shalt thou indeed have dominion over us? And they hated him yet the more for his dreams, and for his words.
18 And when they saw him afar off, even before he came near unto them, they conspired against him to slay him. 19 And they said one to another, Behold, this dreamer cometh.
Consider the life of Joesph. Jacob’s favoritism gave birth to deep-seated feelings of hurt, resentment, jealousy, and hatred. These unresolved feelings caused Joesph’s brothers to become poisoned to the point of murder. Perhaps Jacob could have alleviated his son’s hurt had they just spoken up about it. But their decision to suppress their feelings from their father and to lash out at their brother only led them down a road of unhealthy and unhelpful choices.
James 1:22-24
22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. 23 For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: 24 for he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.
It helps us to acknowledge and address our emotions. Here in James, the Pastor of the Jerusalem church is telling us that God wants us to both hear (acknowledge) and do (address) what His Word says. By only acknowledging our emotions, we are like someone who looks in a mirror but immediately forgets what he saw when he walks away. Addressing our emotions, however, is like standing, looking in that same mirror, thinking about what you see, and then responding appropriately.
Now, some would think that the terms acknowledge, and address mean the same thing, but that’s not true. Acknowledging your emotions is simply saying, “Hi there, I see you.” While addressing your emotions is, “Hi there, I see you, now what am I going to do about you?”
Even in the middle of chaos and during distressing events, remember that Jesus wants you to have peace.
John 14:27
27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Not only does He want you to have peace, He wants us to know that He has overcome difficult situations and He is willing to help us.
John 16:33
33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
When we reach out to God, as Scripture instructs us to, He is faithful and just [1 John 1:9] to help us address our emotions and help us move forward in a healthy direction, but only if we will let Him [1 Thessalonians 5:19].
Establishing New Habits
To be emotionally whole, we must form good habits. Paul instructed the church in Philippi to pursue peace, guard their hearts, and focus their thoughts.
Philippians 4:6-9
6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
When it comes to implementing anything new, we will first be uncomfortable with change and second become impatient with outcomes. It is quite common for people to underestimate how much time and dedication it takes to make life changes. But if you stay the course, the rewards will be worth it.
It will help if you prepare yourself for the fact that you are going to mess up. But understand, this is how we learn and grow. The point is to get up, dust yourself off, (if sin is involved, repent) and work on it some more.
Just as mastering a skill like playing an instrument or a sport requires thousands of hours of practice—a concept known as the “10,000-hour rule,” which suggests that true expertise comes from prolonged, dedicated effort—developing emotional strength also demands consistent work and perseverance over time. You should approach your emotional growth just like any other skill, through regular, committed practice.
Proverbs 16:3
3 Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.
In other words, Solomon is telling us, do what God instructs, and when you do, He will repair your thought patterns. But this isn’t a one and done scenario, he says “commit thy works,” in other words, practice, work at it, continue on even after you fail, get up, do it again, eventually you will come to the point where you have become established and you will find it ever easier to focus, ever easier to bring into captivity that stray thought, and ever easier to live out Paul’s words to the church in Rome.
Romans 15:13
13 Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.